


The Senseless Sense of a Tiny Human

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, but I don't actually say that in the fic, inspired by tumblr post, kid!virgil, logan knows nothing about babies, roman is mentioned exactly once, so however you read it works, techincally he and Patton are married, the author sucks at writing babies, this is a great mix, uncle!Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 23:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: When it comes to babies, Logan knows absolutely nothing. Someone remind him why he's babysitting one?Based on this post: https://blinksinbewilderment.tumblr.com/post/186705269183/blinksinbewilderment-babies-are-so-round-oh-now





	The Senseless Sense of a Tiny Human

“Patton, he’s a sphere.”

“That’s not very nice!”

“It’s simply a fact.” Logan replied, squatting down to peer at the child through the bars of his crib. The baby rolled over, peering at Logan with an open mouth, loose purple shirt shifting as he did. “I believe if I inflated his clothes, I could bounce him.”

“Do not!” Patton yelled back. “Or you’re never getting trusted to babysit for us ever again!”

Logan straightened back out and frowned towards the doorway Patton’s voice drifted in from. “That sounds preferable to… this.”

“Please don’t bounce my child, Logan.”

Logan sighed heavily. “Fine.” He paused, glancing back at the child uncertainly. “Um, what do I do with him if I’m not bouncing him?”

“Get to know him!” Patton replied cheerily. “He’s going to be part of your life for a long time.”

“I’m simply his uncle, I won’t see him that much.” Logan grumbled in response, turning back to face the baby. He frowned as he looked over the crib, where Virgil was mouthing on the hem of his slightly oversized shirt. “Hello, child. I am Logan Berry, your uncle. You are Virgil Reguim?”

The infant blinked up at him before pouting.

“Now that’s hardly professional. Or polite.” Logan said, reaching out a hand towards Virgil. “Do you at least know how to firmly shake?”

Virgil smiled at the hand, but instead of shaking it, he wrapped both his hands around it, attempting to pull it closer to him.

Logan pulled away with ease, however. “Your grip is extremely weak.” He reprimanded as Virgil started pouting again. The baby made grabby hands at Logan, clearly wanting his hand back, but Logan slipped it behind his back once more.

Logan tutted as Virgil’s expression quickly became more and more distressed. “You already have two hands, you don’t need mine-”

He was cut off from his rant when Virgil started to wail. Loudly. Logan, somehow not seeing the outburst coming, took a step back in surprise.

“How unfortunate.” He muttered, confused as to what to do.

“Logan? Why is Virgil crying?”

“I- I don’t know.” Logan yelled back, refusing to believe that it was entirely due to him keeping his hand to himself. “Patton, will you please take care of this… disturbance.”

Logan could almost sense Patton rolling his eyes. “He’s crying, Logan, not disrupting the Force.”

“Then stop the crying.” Logan responding, frowning at the Star Wars jab.

“I’m a little tied up at the moment!” Patton called back.

“Then who’s going to take care of him?”

“Logan, you’re the  _ babysitter _ \- who do you think is going to take care of the baby?”

“I thought this would just be watching the baby, not interacting with him!” Logan responded, slightly panicky as Virgil’s cries got louder. “How am I supposed to stop him from crying?”

“Rock him!” Patton replied. “He likes being rocked!”

“That doesn’t make too much sense.”

Patton huffed. “He’s four months old- he doesn’t make sense! Please just comfort him!”

Logan frowned deeper, but Virgil was only getting louder and he’d be lying if the noise didn’t make him unhappy for reasons other than how grating it was. Hesitantly, he scooped up Virgil, awkwardly trying to properly arrange his arms as he held the small human to his chest.

Virgil’s cries quieted in Logan’s arms, but they were still there until Logan carefully, slowly, started to rock him. Logan was sure it couldn’t be nice- his rocking was more jerky than anything, he had never done this before, hadn’t even held a baby in years- yet it seemed to soothe Virgil as he infant settled down, even curling closer towards Logan’s chest.

The rocks became more natural and smooth as Logan’s attention was focused on Virgil, who was blinking sleepily up at him. Logan wasn’t sure how he had earlier missed the wide eyes, or stubby fingers, or chubby cheeks of the baby before, but they seemed to be all he could concentrate on now.

Speaking of, those fingers were repeating their grabby motions at him. Realizing he probably, once more, wanted to tug at his hand, Logan sat down in the nearest armchair, careful not to jostle Virgil. Seated, he shifted Virgil’s weight more onto his lap, taking one arm away from cradling him to offer the hand to Virgil.

With a little squeal of delight, Virgil grabbed his hand, tiny hands too weak to pull it towards him as Logan pushed it closer instead. Virgil made another happy sound before latching onto Logan’s index finger, the nubs of his teeth just barely hurting as they dug into the finger.

Logan knew it was highly unhygienic and rather pointless to let Virgil teethe on his finger- there were toys he could chew on instead- but Virgil was still flimsily trying to hold his hand, and there was a sort of light in the tiny human’s eyes that Logan found himself physically unable to dim. Which meant Virgil got to teethe on his finger as he continued to lightly rock him.

“Okay, Logan, I’m heading out to meet Roman, so if you need something-” Patton appeared in the doorway mid-sentence, stopping when he saw what was happening. His rushed and concerned expression was replaced by a smile. “Look at you two! Getting along, I see?”

“Your child makes no sense, and I stand by the hypothesis he could bounce if his clothes were inflated.” Logan replied, not looking up. “On that note, I would be willing to die for his safety.”

Patton’s grin only grew. “I knew you two would like each other.”

“Like is an extremely inaccurate word. I believe ‘love’ would fall closer to the true approximation of my feelings towards Virgil.”

Softly chuckling, Patton moved to leave the house. “You two have a good night.”

“We will.” Logan replied to the empty house a few minutes later, still watching Virgil like he was a new scientific phenomenon (in the best way possible). “Oh, we will.”

Virgil just giggled.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: https://sleepless-in-starbucks.tumblr.com/


End file.
